Inhaling death

The flame ignites the stick that limits my time, inhaling death as though I'm fine. Coming across happy eventhough I'm showered in hate, tears stream as I cry for help but it won't work as I'm too late. Each drop of alcohol distracts the truth, of how I'm killing myself, ruining my youth. Death is awaiting impatiently at my door, am I ready to leave- how can I want more? 
I know that I shall meet my fate ,
somewhere in the clouds above, 
those I fight I do not hate,
those I guard I'm scared to love.
Theres little joy left in life for me and little terror in the grave, the people surrounded that I have hurt I'm dying to save.
The darkness glows, I'm drowning,
the light has gone, 
im dying.