INSIDE MY HEAD

I lived inside my head
I tried to figure things out
There was no other safe place to be
It's what surviving became about
​​In my mind, it was safe to question
I could analyze and try to make sense
But fear kept my thoughts from being heard
And always kept me on the defense
I lived my life from deep inside
My thoughts,  guarded from interpretation
I thought only I could understand
The silent devastation
What once kept and held me together
What once, protected and guarded my heart
Became an overthinking machine
That kept me and living, apart
I no longer live in daydreams
Or disassociate from strife
I try to stay in the here and now
To be present and live some life
I choose to feel what there is to feel
To experience living now
I've only begun to live outside my mind
I've only begun to learn how