It was not supposed to be like this

I look at you while you're sleeping
And I pull the covers over you
then I lay in bed next to you
And I wonder what am I going to do
 
I search my mind for answers
But I got lost in my thoughts
My body and mind are getting tired
From all the battles that we've fought

I bring you in this world
But how was I to know
All the terrible things
That was going to happen to you

My tears start falling down
Rolling down my face
I pray to God for a miracle
Asking for mercy from the holy grace

I know you came from heaven
Special delivery just for me
I ask God for you
Because the future I couldn't see

I take my hands
And touch your hair
You open your eyes and went back to sleep
Feeling safe knowing that daddy is there

I try to be strong
But I'm crying inside
But you don't know how scared I am
Because It doesn't show outside

You always ask me every day
Why did God bring you into this world to suffer
And why did he make you different
And It breaks my heart because I don’t have an answer for you

I wish I had the answers
To all the questions that you ask me
I wish God would just make it stop now
And don't let my child hurt anymore
 
This is not fair to you
It’s not fair to me
And I know how hard it is also
On your mommy
 
Life was not supposed to be like this
No, it was not supposed to be
I don’t know how to stop you from being sad
I don’t know how to make you happy
 
I don’t know anything anymore
All I have is faith now
And prayers fill with hope
Hopes of a miracle to come one day
 
I don’t know what to do anymore
But still, I have to keep trying
I’m so tired of seeing you hurting
And facing a future that’s uncertain
 
I didn’t know it was going to be like this
If I did, I won’t have asked God to send you in this world
But I was so happy to hold you in my arms
You brought so much joy and comfort in my heart and soul
 
I have to keep dreaming, dreaming
that one-day Jesus will reach out his hands and touch your hair
and you will awake with the brightest smile ever
and all your sadness will vanish into the air