It's Only Temporary

Don’t worry, it’s only temporary.
What you’re feeling, this emptiness, it’s only here for now.
It’s a disease, it’s eating away at what you are, who you were.
This feeling is devouring you slowly, so slowly you forget that it’s there.
It’s breaking you down and quietly shutting off the happy.
The good, the dreams, the love, it’s all fading, and you don’t even realize.
You are screaming internally, screaming for a break, for just a taste of passivity.
It hurts, and you want it to stop.
You’re still screaming, yet no one can seem to hear your cry for help.
It’s growing painful, it’s starting to kill you.
You don’t want to feel it anymore, you can’t deal with this illness.
So you turn it all off.
You’re numb now, you feel nothing.
Feeling nothing puts you in a state of peace.
You’re self medicating with drugs, partying every weekend.
Your lips dance against the lips of someone new each day, it doesn’t phase you.
And you’re stuck, you’re a new person.
You aren’t even you.
Can you bring yourself to cry anymore?
Would the silent escape of water from an eye be so wrong?
Wait, this all feels wrong.
Why can’t you feel, why can’t you bring yourself to love?
What happened to the passion, the light and the music?
It’s not okay, you are not okay.
It has taken control of you, it has forced you to spit out every last bit of who you were.
And now you are gone.
Bathtub filled with vodka,
scars of sadness drawn across your wrists and hips.
The mirror is broken, you can’t look at the wasted girl you see in the reflection.
Who is she?
It’s too much, you can’t do this anymore.
You need it to stop, please god oh please just make it stop.
Step into the water.
Sleep.
But don’t worry, it’s only temporary.