JIGSAW

I'm only happy when it rains, sometimes my mind works best in the dark. Its sunny outside today, so why do I feel inside so cloudy and grey? Well rested, but exhausted. Healthy, but unwell. I know where I am, but still I'm lost. Unsure, unsteady as a flickering candlelight, when will I no longer be faint, and instead again burn bright? Why has the wind in  my sails left me, how can one feel so full yet so empty? Why am I haunted by my sorrow, when will I look forward to tomorrow? What seems to be true today, may not be so in awhile, secrets hide behind a half-smile. Sadness, day in and day out, what is there to be happy about? God help me as I struggle to find my way. How did I stray so far off course, off track? How? When? will I find my way back? The light at the end of my tunnel grows dim, life without hope looks troubled and grim. What sense can I make of this sadness? Only time will tell if it turns into madness. A piece here, a piece there, flashes of memories and moments from everywhere. The unattainable I crave, why won't my mind and heart behave? Confusion, it holds me still, its grasp unyielding pulling me down this battered hill. If after the darkness there comes light, then why do my days turn into endless nights? A flash of blue a bit of green, what else is there that can't be seen? How does a star glimmer so bright, when surrounded completely by dark, dark night? Questions I ponder with curious imagination, maybe someday I will come to understand this puzzling revelation.