JOKE
What`s the definition of sheer bloody bravery?
A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!!
The quietest place in the world is?
The customer complaints dept in a parachute packing factory!
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather!
Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car!!
Today a man knocked on my door and asked me for a small donation for the local swimming pool!
So I thought I`d be nice and I gave him a whole bucket of water!!
I`m not saying that I hate you!
But I wouldn`t think twice about unplugging your life support... to charge my phone!!
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common!
They should be changed regularly and for the same reason!!
A recent study showed that wives who carried a little too much weight!
All live longer than the silly sods who mention it!!!
The early bird might get the worm!
But the second mouse always gets all the cheese!!
Never under any bloody circumstances should you take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!!!!
Our shinbones and our big toes are simply aids for finding all the furniture in the dark!
My grandma told me that somehow her `joints` were always a bit too floppy!
So I just showed her how to roll them tighter!!
Women will never be equal to men!
Until they can walk on a beach with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they`re bloody sexy!!
G xx
Like 2 Pin it 0
Support CosmoFunnel.com
You can help support the upkeep of CosmoFunnel.com via PayPal.
Comments
Georgina I love it very funny I will to come up with one myslfe
Thank you Greg, I`m glad you liked my silly mood!!!
Love G xx
Hi G I have laughed lots this morning
then i read your jokes i think we have the same sense
of humor so funny enjoyed lots
love n hugs Debs xx
Just me having a mad half hour Debs!!
Glad you liked it though!
Love G xx
Hi Dear G,
How long have I been telling you that stand up comedy is one of your great talents. These lines are hysterical. "A diarrhea fart!, Customer complaints at a parachute factory!". These are phenomenally funny, as are all the rest of the joke! If you have stage fright, you could always be a well paid writer for a successful comedian.
Still laughing, with all my love,
Larry
Aawww my Larry you`re a little tinker aren`t you with the old flattery!! You`re what we in Blighty call `a patter merchant`!! Your flattery`s certainly getting this rusty old engine of mine chuggin`and huffin` along our kid....wooo woooo!!! I`m chuffed that you liked them sweetie. It`s much easier to write them, than tell them to folk, I`m no actor and the stage would give me heart failure with fright!!! My parents were from Liverpool and my dad had a superb knack for telling jokes, especially after a couple of pints of the old lubricating juice!! Liverpool is renowned for its sense of humour.
I`ll try and write some more because I love it when it gets you smiling, and that`s the most important thing to me, to make my Larry and Linda happy.
I love you two mice`s to pieces.
G xx