...Just embrace it

So here it is
I have decided to pen it down...
Heavens knows the silent cry burry' d within my soul
I know I am not alone cave'd in this trap of wilderness
Better days comes and go
At most they weigh less than the opposite days, horrific
Days when i thrive to put up a cheerful smile
Pretending as though i don't mind being different
To be disABLED. UnABLED, Any way you can call/put it
Well, Alas... Let me tell you about my worst days,
Days when my cheeks are painted with wavy black mascara flowing down from my soak'd tormented  red eyes
When i cannot break through the cage and the rage too intense
When i cannot face the society, the universe and the atmosphere, altogether 
When the gravity is way too heavy  for me to handle...
Oh Lord do you hear the prayers i silently utter walking around the streets?
Prayers of mercy and strength to overcome preasure from all  dimensions and directions
Loud and silent, both just murmuring to my ears
To act brave, to be strong
Not for me but for whoever is watching my struggles
On other days... O'Lord
How i wish i can be invisible
Every morning, day and night i daze into my bewilder'd mind before I take a step out of my closet
Knowing that I have to face the world,
How I wait impatiently for the day to fall again so that i can return back to my closet, my own space, my world
The place where i can let my tears flows without answering "are you okay" question.
God knows how i wish i can walk and run on my own two feet without pains
Without stopping every five minutes to take a breath and convince myself to keep moving
To convince myself that I am almost there and that the pain will get better
Lord... On those days when my glucose is low and yet i can't do nothing about it, do you notice me?
When i am in the midst of the crowd but the only noise I here is that of  my excruciating pains...
Lord only if i knew that the day will come that I will be different
Then I would have appreciate'd the little things i had,
I would have love'd more, laughe'd more... Maybe i would have done almost  everything a little bit better.

But at the end of it all
It is well with my soul.
It is perfectly okay to cry, to burst with anger, to scream, sometimes it is okay to be angry at thyself... It is okay
Because that is what makes thy human
The pain, the love, the blame, pity, laughter...all kind of bad and good
They make up what is called life.
Just embrace it