Laugh With Santa

Some lions mate over 50 times a day
Now that's really unbelievable
I'm only good for about 40 times tops
50 is almost unreachable

The dot over the “i” is called a tittle
I'm aware naughty words aren't allowed
Though this one's legit I looked it up
But don't yell it in church out loud

Only one person in more than two billion
Lives to 116 or older
Sorry to disappoint you my poetry friends
I intend to be the new record holder

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain
Know quite a few people like that
Some are members of my immediate family
They's dumber than the household cat

The longest recorded flight of a chicken
Is thirteen seconds, quite short
Fleeing for its life from the butcher's axe
Screaming “Got a wife and kids to support!”

Buckingham Palace has over 600 rooms
Elizabeth hasn't seen Phillip in years
Once tried to pick up the dear old Queenie
Liz promptly kicked him in the rear

Some worms will actually devour themselves
If they're unsuccessful in finding food
There might come a time when I'd do that too
But I'd really have to be in the mood

Beetles taste like apples, worms taste like bacon
What weirdo discovered this
Even if they paid me two gazillion dollars
You wouldn't catch me licking the dish!

Eeewww!!!