Lazy & Institutionalised

He was lazy, he realised now,
Liking to sleep in late-
To slumber,

He was in his late 30s
And had never cooked for
More than two people
(And rarely did that)

Nor was he good at housework,
Leaving things to build up,
Preferring to slouch and read
And surf the internet.
He was not dynamic, he knew that.

He wondered if a gradual increase
In his activities was the best
Way of progressing and growing
To do it suddenly might push
Him over the edge

(Six months after moving out
From living with his mother
And getting a place on his own-
He’d experienced a sudden
Psychotic episode requiring
A hospital admission where
He experienced delusions.

He seemed to exist, he felt
Rather than live, being apathetic
And disinclined to make an effort
Or show initiative.
He did not know why he felt this way.

His job was alright;
He felt enslaved to it though
There was no reason why
He could not look for another.
Perhaps it was just easier not to

And so he plodded along,
Coasting through life
Vaguely feeling he ought to
Do something more:
Be more active.

His house was a mess
He made no excuses
And had none to give
But tidying seemed
Too much like hard work.

He was caught up instead
In his imagination
And in his own thoughts,
Interests, hobbies and obsessions

Lacking confidence;
When talking to his bosses
He still felt like a little boy
And out of his depth
Feeling he had no right
To be treated as an adult

Even though he did
(At leat more or less, he figured)
He was entering the realm
Of Transactional Analysis now.
Berne.  Berne.  Berne.
He was trying his best to
Learn.  Learn.  Learn.

When it came to money management
He instinctively buried his head
In the sand
(Though he made a conscious effort
Not to do so).

Perhaps the cause of all this
Was fear- not wanting to embrace
The world and its potential
He settled for
The bare minimum instead.

MDC.  Copyright