LEAVE ME ALONE

This iPhones glow
Deepens the black
The empty left side
Of this king size bed
Screams loss

I won’t touch your pillow
Last dented by your head
Will not move a thing
I can still feel you here
Your last breath breathed at home

I will not see the car
Last you drove
I will not take highway 19
I will not hear condolence
Can I just ease into this

My lungs are emptied
My ears are deafened
My throat is ripped
My scream 
Of denial

The only other sound 
To disturb the silence
Since your
“Love you babe,
Be back by six”

Must I be struck
Attacked
Beat 
Brutalized
Why reality

Will facing it
Make it better
Ease the pain
Fill this empty 
End this loss
Make it not true?

Until I’m ready
If I’m ever ready
If you care
Leave me alone
I choose the past

That’s the chair 
You chose 
for your morning coffee
I’ll not move it
Nor allow it sat in

Until I’m ready 
Until I say
Keep your condolences
Leave me alone