Live with the peace

No more ducking and diving
no more holding the line
no more fearing the incoming
yet somehow I'm far from fine.

Moulded to be a survivor
hardened to fight until death
no emotion in facing my foe
as I make him draw his last breath.

Schooled in ways of the savage
valour that seeks to deceive
yet now I rock in my torment
not knowing what now to believe.

Nights so eternal and sleepless
screams that never will fade
faces remembered forever
only now have I found I'm afraid.

Leading the charge of the victor 
yet now consigned to the heap
wondering what I have sewn
for the bitter harvest I reap.

Trenches I've learned to live in
pursuing a golden fleece
yet the battle rages eternal
as I learn to live with the peace.