Losing a child

I woke up in the morning feeling good, had my breakfast done the things that you know we should.
Little did I know that grief had been sent my way, full of pain and anguish it was coming to stay.
I got a call to say my son was dead, no,no, no I wasn't ready for that to enter my head.
I didn't want to hear or believe that my son had died, but then my heart shattered where I fell to the floor cried and cried.
I felt so lost and so alone, I couldn't believe my son wasn't coming home.
The pain the turmoil filled my whole inside, I couldn't cope didn't understand how this had happened to my child.
Then came the anger the rage unleashed and wild, cursing at God for taking away my child.
I punched wall after wall kicked door after door, and then for hours just laid there on the floor.
The feeling numb so empty and hollow, my mouth was so dry I couldn't swallow.
My heart it longed and it ached, hoping it was a lie my son's death they had faked.
But I know it wasn't so, my boy had gone why did he have to go. 
​​​​​I miss my boy miss calling his name, now I live everyday within that pain.
All the memories that are left behind, some days I think too much they consume my mind.
Other days it's like I'm at the very start, where I cry so hard it break's my heart.
Then some days I'm filled with joy, remembering my child so proud that he was my boy.