Losing My Christmas Compassion

Never have I been so afraid on days when I have simply made
decisions where my thoughts were wrong, and wondering on just how long
before my mind would let me know that my feelings would turn to snow,
and I’d find myself unaware and feeling that I just don’t care.
 
When seeing homeless standing there, I make these seem to disappear,
because the way they make me feel, that turns my heart into black steel.
Sometimes, I’d feel distant, a far, while riding in my fancy car,
which doesn't seem to take me far away from how I feel they are?
 
For those who have just less than me, I look not at their dignity.
Finding that I would feel afraid, knowing that I have made them fade
away from all my sense of worth, acting innocent, like birth.
I'm afraid of this sensation, and my lack of true compassion.
 
It seems to turn on as it will, suiting me fine while lying still,
but when they're begging on the street, I walk the other way than greet,
or notice that they’ll disappear, yet, they’re standing so very near.
Their hands outstretched, with eyes that tear, I see in them what I do fear.
 
Seeing to be left on side of roads, carrying life's many heavy loads.
Wearing tattered and torn old clothes, and using them to wipe their nose.
While others seem to walk away, I find myself turning the page,
and living just like someone new and tagging them as just a few!
 
On Christmas Day, I need a gift, to help me with my inner rift.
Please help me Lord from where I hide, give me compassion deep inside.
So, everyday mine eyes will see all those things that inhibit me.
So, let me feel compassion more, to understand what life is for.