Lost Man Part 1
Award Wining Poetry (Facebook)
Depths beneath Sapphire blue
Faded Faces, stuck like glue.
Hearts pulling.
Minds pushing.
Refereesâ decision.
Under review.
Digital pixels in digital screens
Versing voices that go unseen.
Spectators chanting.
Players snarling.
Chaos looms.
So, that it seems.
Grandstand.
A Cameraman. Head shakes.
Lost man.
Lost man.
The Garbage can.
Understands. He`s a
Lost man.
Lost man.
Fuelled for what I am.
Distinguished guests scold fevers ham.
Partisans laugh â point! Pots and pans.
Sticks and stones...
And the saviourâs lamb.
His hands nailed Â
To protect every man
Women
Child
A grim denial,
Do we deserve it?
If we do not learn from our mistakes.
When the clouds turn black
And the world plumes grey.
And when there are no fish left
In all the lakes.
No one`s going to save us.
No, they won`tÂ
Not the second time around.
Support CosmoFunnel.com
You can help support the upkeep of CosmoFunnel.com via PayPal.
Comments
wow that is some storyÂ
i love itÂ
Thank you Greg!! Glad you liked this one mate
Wow! Max! Wow! ( see, double wow). This has been superbly written. Great game/life/ spiritual analogy going on here and there are some fantastic lines throughout. Your writing has turned some sort of corner lately and has become relevant and real with its very own voice. I love this poem of yours.
My favourite line is ...
Excellent đđđ x
Tina, thank you so much. My gosh, no one has said that to me before... I feel so honored. To be honest, this poem might be the start of somthing for me, a more professional side to my writing and a moving away from always talking about myself lol. It has its positives and negatives, but I feel as if I'm starting to move on and grow as a writer. Thank you so much for your continual support of my work. Tina, it is greatly appreciated~
'Depths beneath sapphire blue
Faded faces, stuck like glue.
Hearts pulling.
Minds pushing.
Referees' decision.Â
Under review.'
Christ ...I pictured the whole of mankind drowning under the sapphire blue Max!!
That might be because I'm depressed ..lol..brilliant lines...brilliant work my friend âââââđ¤
Â
Wow Marion! I didnt look at it that way, but it makes so much sense! Thank you so much for your kind comment. You know, you have been a "life" long supporter of my work. I am so so grateful for everything you do. Hugs flying your way. That is, if fish could fly... XD
What can I say, Beautiful. Such deep meaning for life. So creative. Â
Thank you so much Shirley! I really enjoyed writing this one. Your kind words mean so much to me.
Deep creativity my Lil Fishy friend & fantastically written too â¤ď¸đšâ¤ď¸
Thank you Jill! I'm super glad you liked this one! It was fun to write!
â¤ď¸đšâ¤ď¸
Awesome write.Â
Thank you so much Liliana!
Max you are getting better and better, real strength to strength and it is captivating to see and read.
Beautiful, powerful, engaging and thought provoking and to end on...
A grim denial,
Do we deserve it?
If we do not learn from our mistakes.
When the clouds turn black
And the world plumes grey.
And when there are no fish left
In all the lakes.
No one`s going to save us.
No, they won`tÂ
Not the second time around.
Is forlorn and equally inspiring.
Inspiring one and all to do better and we can.
We all can try harder if we set our minds to it and choose to give a damn.
A great write Max and one of your best by a long chalk.
Full honours, but it's not about pins, like or shiny stars it's about the truth and to set oneself free and strive do better for all.
Respect to you my friend and thank you.
Â
Wow Shaun. Thank you so much for saying that. To be honest, for me, sometimes poetry just writes itself and the phases just fit together and I type away as they appear in my head. To be honest this one started out as a chaos analogy for the world going to pot. And us as the middle man caught up in the cross fire. Thank you for your kind words. I feel as if theres still another write lurking under the water with this one. Brain keeps churning away! Peace to you my poetic friend. Hope to catch up soon! Your friend Max~
I am late to the party but man I am pleased I found it :)Â
Max you are proving to us all that yes you are a true poet. There is so much sound advice and depth to this write. Your structure and rhythm is superb. Your words are haunting, with a crystal clear message that rings out and shouts for us as a species to buck up and mend our terrible ways. Because it's going to be too late once the planet is destroyed. I won't pick a stanza as to me the entire piece is just brilliant in it's format and voice. You are musing on life like a true poet should, and you are speaking out in a way that handles the subject attentively and creatively. Capturing the readers attention with your first stanza, and submerging them into the chaos and clumsy game we humans playout on this beautiful planet. I am so excited for you Max. You are growing ever more as a writer. It is lovely to watchÂ
Your friendÂ
Gwen :)
Gwen, your comments are always so very long and fulfilling I personally need to crack that wip myself and get typing away... and I will do so tomorrow! What can I say Gwen, I am ecstatic with your words! For me, in life and as a writer, I am at the very start of my journey so it excites me so much for you to say that. Really Gwen, I promise if I ever become anything (XD I wish) I'll still look back at Cosmos and you as one of my key motivators to keep going and keep challenging myself. This may as well be one of my most valued comments of all time. And that's really saying something. So once again thank you my kind friend. I hope all is well with you. Sincerely, your friend MaxÂ
Wow Max...well I had to find part 1 first before I read part 2! So here I am! I agree with the other comments. You have proper delved into this reality of life concept in sheer blunt and true form. I love the short sharp lines and the rhyme and rhythm really helds the reader as they embark on this journey with you, on how truly a lost man is....Pinned! Pxxx
How the hell did I miss this comment P? So very sorry! But thank you so much! Again, this write coincidently never started its life as a cultural protest. (Kind of just grew out of nowhere I suppose!) Although unfortunately... it is so very true. I feel like we have lost our way as a species more than ever and after the pandemic, I have a hunch that climate change will be the next big hurdle. Hope you are well and thank you again for reading both poems of this series P! Sincerely, your friend Max
Awarded Certificate of ExcellenceÂ
Facebook Group "The Passion of Poetry"Â
Theme: Poet of the Week
Date: 10/10/21