Lost Man Part 2
Beneath the waves of solemn grey.
Invisible eyes wait patiently,
Whilst the mind paupers a soft religion
The Fisherman`s dance.
A scared vision.
Hopeless dreams in cracked mirrors – the pain.
Numerical factors – the “minorities” they say!
It`s not funny anymore.
She`s taken lives.
She pulls the strings.
A nation divides.
And I bend over backwards.
The Fractions and factors.
The Inky black and modest blue.
Now the spotlight fixes.
Its face on you.
Judgement day,
And all too soon.
Let`s have some fun,
Left - bible,
Right - gun.
The humble man.
Afghanistan.
Turns white with fear.
Lost man.
The homeless man,
Kicks the can
Gives up his fight
Lost man
Depths beneath the fluid sand.
A hidden city
You can`t understand
Glistening windows stand through clouds that gloom.
100 floors up.
The sun is rising.
At Midnight - Afternoon.
The floor. The carpet.
No clock on the wall.
The silence.
The view.
No end to it all.
It's sad.
It's peaceful.
It's inevitable,
A highlight!
One ceiling light.
At Midnight
Afternoon.
Support CosmoFunnel.com
You can help support the upkeep of CosmoFunnel.com via PayPal.
Comments
Man oh man I had fun writing this one!!
Your words inspire me ! I know I’m with the best of the best ! Just when I was thinking I’d work less . I’ll continue to write hoping I might
be as good as you
I hope there room at top for us 2!
Thanks so much, Eboni! To be honest, out of everything, what I have learnt most about poetry is how much it opens your eyes to the world around you. Writing on Cosmos turns into an awesome and thrilling journey, and my supporters are the primary reason I have continued along this path. I`m not one for talking about myself... but I`ll say that for one is never be afraid to share your work. More often than not, I worry over my work and how it will be received by the community, where writing in your own poetic voice is so much more important. Please, keep writing and developing! It`s been awesome to watch how my fellow poets have grown over the years. Thanks again Eboni!
Max!! I'm catching up on reads one poet at a time! So watch this space...I will comment soon my friend. Pxxx
Ahhh thanks so much P! And No problem my friend. Your such a generous and kind poet. Even you just reading my work means a hell of a lot~
Always mate 😁😁😁
Wow Max, your sequel does not disappoint at all!
“Judgement day,
And all too soon.
Let`s have some fun,
Left - bible,
Right - gun”
What a stanza! Showing off not only your ability to rhyme and play with words. But then to highlight the ludicrous antics people go to and the reality of just how dark a place a person can end up. It is a mad world out there. Your poem fringes on the reality of that madness. But also there is such an awareness of where to look for the light in life. You are a mindful poet my friend. It is bleeding beautifully into your works of late. I must read your other recent posts. I just wanted to catch this one after having read the first :)
Excited for you Max
Your friend
Gwen x
Ahh thanks Gwen! I'm really glad you enjoyed this one! To be honest, the city came out as a write in itself and I feel as if it's a concept that I have only just scratched the surface on exploring. I'm super excited!! I think this is the biggest break I have had for a short novel yet! Actually... tomorrow I'm hope to rally some poetic troops for a massive collab write. I was gonna message Jim about it first, but hoping to invite Shaun too. Would you mind if I extended that invite to you? I'm hoping to theme it as a multi perspective romance write called "from tonight till forever" where poets can write about either fictional or non fiction sections about their happiest moments with their loved ones. Let me know what you think! Again thanks so much for reading and supporting my work. Sincerely, your friend Max
Oh wow Max I would be honoured to take part :) Thank you my friend for inviting me. I look forward to the adventure. A group write sounds like fun.
I think your writing is excelling and it's beautiful to see :)
Awesome! I hope to do a group message out to the "lads" XD tomorrow. Look forward to catching up with your work too! ;)
Again thank you so very much.
Talk soon!
Great Max :) talk soon my friend
A brilliant read my
poetic penfriend 🌹💕🌹
Awww shucks Jill, thanks so much for your kind comment!
🌹💕🌹
Really in-depth write Max...agree with Gwen, you ability to word play is astonishing. Enjoyed this read greatly my friend 🌹
Why thank you Marion. I'm so chuffed to bits with all the support I woke up to on this one. Though your words really hit home~ Peace to you my poetic friend! I hope you are doing well~
~ "Whilst the mind paupers a soft religion...."
One of the best lines I've ever read on Cosmo.......I am so far behind with reading everyone's stuff FISH......It is truly a pleasure to see how far you have taken your writing....this is a STELLAR write to say the very least as it delves into the mixes of wordplay as it relates to the authors ability to convey intent.....PINNED....fantastic write dear poet brother......Lots of Love to you and yours Max!!
PS. and please do keep up your inspirational work with everyone.....your 'group write' is a great idea.....the kind of thing that keeps this site alive....Many Thanx!!......your cyber-friend and admirer.......T xo : )
Wow!! Really Tony?! What can I say. Thank you so very much. And no problem that your behind! (That's how I live my life XD) Besides, itd be impossible to comment on everyone's work on Cosmos. I get a grin from this one every time I read it through, not because I'm in love with my own writing, but because I had so much fun forming and creating this one. I feel as If i am developing my own style these days and so feedback means the world to me. Again thank you so much! I hope that the group write will bring some of us poets together and maybe allow some intertwining poetry techniques we can all learn from XD. Peace and smiles to you always mate. You have always been such a keen supporter of my work~
Well Max...wow wow wow....part 2 is just as raw and effective as part 1...in fact I would say it's even better. Short sharp lines that pull us in...into the true realisation of it all....your writing has definately developed and my favourite lines are the ones Gwen pointed out. Writing about a topic that you feel.so passionately about really shows of your best work...and this is exceptional poetry as the saga continues of the lost man....Pinned! Pxxx
Hi P! Thanks a million! Sometimes I just get feelings about what I'm going to write about next or what has more content. For some reason, that was the fact with part 1. I like the idea of an empty city that's always at midnight afternoon. Seems otherworldly or and analogy to a place between heaven and hell. And agreed! With passion comes motivation and commitment to keep forging and inventing. Though, I should give my growth as a poet to all my lovely supporters and their wonderful feedback. You included P! Thank you so much for your time. I hope you are well~ Sincerely, your friend Max
“Gives up his fight”
Excellent write fish. Reflects I think the insane place we find ourselves!
JP
Hi John, unfortunately, so very true... seems like the whole world has gone to pot at the moment... it's tragic, sad and confusing. Hope you are well my friend, Thanks so much for your support!
Wow Max and double Wow! Reads likes a waking dream festooned with the sharpest and colourful imagery and multiple messages.
There is so much you have crammed in without any burnout culture shock.
Feel like I've been hit over the head by a poetry hammer and wishing for more.
A real tiger breaking cover beast of a poem and so much to take in and mull over.
And Max for some reason Billy Joel's song We Didn't Start The Fire springs to mind mirroring your superb messages, imagery and beat, flow and tempo.
A staccato gutso pulse to your poem like well timed waves engulfing a reader as said reader moves from line to line.
Brilliant imagery and concept my friend and full honours respectfully given.
And Max, thank you.
Why thank you, Shaun! I`m really chuffed you enjoyed this one!! And I love that song! Seems to capture the chaos and confusion of the modern world and our history... I reckon, if I was ever to write a short novel, this would be my biggest break yet. I had so much fun writing this one! I hope you are well mate, talk soon! Sincerely, your friend Max
" well timed waves engulfing the reader" Shaun nailed it Max! awesome write and a perfect example of your talent! way to make a splash!.......Jim
Thanks so much, Jim! This one came out so fast... it seemed to just write itself ;) Reading Whitey on the Moon may have been an inspiration. Glad you enjoyed it, my friend! Talk soon I hope~ Max
So very cleaver. Loved every single line.
Really Liliana? Thank you so much!! Glad you enjoyed my work