Love, Sadness Hopelessness, Destruction

I see her in the distance
My life depends on her existence
I eagerly wait for her touch that makes me feel as though nothing else really matters much.
Her presence in life's storms is comforting
Thunder crashes wind roars and scatters me
Yet she is there
A reassuring light in the dark of night
For she is my wonderful loving wife

Time goes on
She begins to look as though life itself has left her
And I feel roles begin to change
She looks to me for a soft touch
For her comfort in the storm
The storm goes on she puts on a brave face
She knows its the end of her race. I don't.
I ask her when she’ll be ready to go on
She doesn't answer
She starts to look worse and worse
Like the trees in winter
I hope and pray that spring will come soon
We lay in our bed talking of life
She tells me that she loves me forever
Then she drifts off to sleep. Forever.

I wake in the morning to a cold lifeless form beside me
I scream her name
Trying to wake what can not be woken
My body is wracked with sobs
I beg heaven to restore life to the corpse that was my love. My life.
I feel nothing, no desire except to be with my love
But I can't. She’s gone.
I can picture her as an angel in heaven
The prettiest in every way
I see her one last time before the heavy wooden lid slams shut
The reverberating sound is that of the door to my life closing to all
I find no purpose. I am an empty shell. I am walking dead

I lay awake with my problems
Longing for that touch
For the calming wind to blow away the storm
It does not come. I’m left alone
No hope left I pull a knife out of my drawer
I look at it and think that my pain could be removed in an instant
My pain is immeasurable it captivates my body
I can't escape
But I know I could never pull the plug
I imagine her beautiful smile
I have peace knowing that I will see her again in a moment
I wander outside and find myself on the edge of happiness 
Of true freedom. one step can take me back to the love I once knew
I take it.

Seconds later I stand at the gates 
She sees me and I call her name
She bears a look of torture and of great sorrow
She tells me of the life I have just left
Of its beauty and hope and how I left that to walk alone. Forever.
Empty forever. 
The shell that I saw as me in another life catches up to me.
I walk down the dark path to endless death.