Mare

Trapped in a mind and body swiftly and constantly declining I feel trapped.

Broken beyond repair I wonder what I could have done differently.

I feel now it is too late.

I’m selfish and have given up the idea of change.

I am shackled by my lack of will and whipped by shame.

I’ve had a lot of life.

I fantasize about death being my only freedom.

I’m frightened about how I will die but welcome the thought of a new everlasting life.

My soul is like a mare who has run too many races and put through all the paces.

She now has shoveled hooves,

A swayed back,

A glass mouth.

She’s been tied to posts in the blazing sun,

whipped and spurred.

She can hardly lift her head any more.

She can’t seem to find any rest.

God please forgive me for my weaknesses in this constant pain.

 I know you love me all the same.