Martyr

If there's an ounce of love left in you for me...just an inkling of the eutopia that we used to be... 
If you even, for one second, saw forever in me...
You need to turn around, walk away, put the sword down, render me erased...
Swallow shards of glass and chase it down with the inevitable fact that my own angelic warrior must exist... He will spend his days finding ways to touch another place that was left wounded...to kiss the tearstains and repair what damage you did....he will be content to talk to me, however long it takes for me to leave this sleep...Sing softly to me through this coma you created, vow that not one minute of it was wasted...
Prevent you, and anyone, from pulling the plug that keeps my soul gripping with white knuckles to the spirit that it once was...
He will wait for me.
For my eyes to open, and be finally vacant of your demons, your person...your significance to me.... 
He will set out, determined, to sweep me away, with faithful bed side sonnets that, throughout my every dream, I will hear his voice portray....So that when I do awaken, it will be in a state of raw redemption.... No longer imprisoned by my terror of you that kept all locked; unmentioned... For the first time, enveloped by reason to trust...Protected by such an untainted, and such a steadfast love...
He will wrap around me with a concrete assurance that oppression cannot break through... Vow to conquer for my safety, my respect, and my smile... to be willing to die for any cause I deem worthwhile...Live and breathe me...
He will be the counteracting factor of all that is you....
I know you will quake at the pain of the thought...A twist in your stomache...a catch in your throat...Severed hope...because what I need is what you just are not...
You see, my devil, you put me here...with every bullet you had to say, every time you willed your hell to break...
All the weeping, midnight hours, hopeless screaming spilling out of frigid, cold showers... all because my lover was the epitome of hate... 
You cannibalized my purist reasons, massacred my transitional colors between seasons... Raped my dignity. Sodomized my glory....your illiteracy forced me to write you your own story.... I did every simple task, and far beyond for you...gasped for YOUR breath, walked out YOUR steps...
I consumed YOUR verdict, and I served YOUR sentence...
Now, I lay, vegetized, here in this room...LIVING YOUR OWN DEATH FOR YOU...
I am your martyr...
So, if there is any fraction of you that recalls my face just long enough for your charred sentiment to embrace me...If you still treasure any part of me....
PLEASE...
Come collect these mounds of baggage I have been harboring for you...these smoldered knots of nostalgia my broken hands keep clinging to...
Take it all eons from here, pull the door behind you, taste.the bile that I have to...
And just disappear.
Because, he will be arriving here upon a weeping midnight hour...He will quiet the hopeless screams spilling from that frigid, cold shower...
He will present a long mourned love at my epitome of hate...When I'm just about to break...
And finally...after such an extended purgatory...
I will be awake....