Mary Had A Frog

Mary had a frog

Mary used to have a lamb but now she has a frog.
She came upon it quite by chance while flailing in the bog,
because those stupid sparkly shoes she'd begged and pleaded for,
had slipped upon the shiny pebbles on the forest floor,
and if that wasn't bad enough, the force spun her around,
ensuring she was face down by the time she hit the ground!
Now, if you've ever seen a bog you'll know they're pretty grim
and definitely not the kind of place to take a swim.
As she surveyed this frightful, horrid, stinky, muddy swirl.
Mary, understandably, was not a happy girl.
Her lip began to tremble and her eyelashes grew damp, 
she sobbed out loud, in pity for herself, stuck in that swamp.
But trying not to breathe in while you hiccup can be tough,
so Mary made her mind up that she'd cried for long enough...
Then hitching up her sodden skirt, she squelched towards the bank,
being extra careful not to tread in something rank.
Alas, with her attention focused solely 'pon the floor,
she hadn't taken notice of the bugs and slugs and more.....
So when a slimy thud atop her head came out the blue,
she very nearly, accidentally, almost did a poo!
Mary gave a mighty shriek and leapt about a mile,
pulling off some fairly acrobatic stunts with style,
before she landed in a tangled, crumpled heap of fear
and quickly scanned the area to check that all was clear.
Absolutely nothing seemed amiss upon first glance,
so maybe just a glint of sun highlighted it by chance,
but there among the reeds, a tiny frog was in distress...
...and let me tell you, slimy frogs and snot make so much mess....
Mary, being of the 'strong of stomach' ilk of folk,
bit back her revulsion as she wrapped him in her cloak,
then tenderly she carried him until she reached her room
and placed him in a bowl of water fetched from the lagoon.

Mary was an early bird and woke each day at dawn,
she liked to lay  in bed awhile to stretch and scratch and yawn.
But not today, because she had a frog to pet and love,
although she had decided she would probably wear a glove....
'cos when you've got a lamb the worst thing possible is lice,
but when it comes to frogs there's really nothing much that's nice.
Running to his bowl, she saw he hadn't moved all night.
The poor thing was so traumatised he'd frozen up with fright!
But not to be deterred, she scooped him quickly from the bowl,
and gaily said "Let's play some football, you can be in goal."
Now this may seem quite mean to you but Mary had a plan,
to build up poor frog's confidence in any way she can.
She told him goalies jump a lot and he was great at that,
then kicked the ball too hard and watched as poor sad frog went splat!
As she scraped up frog she said "We'll find a game you like."
And then exclaimed with glee "I know! Let's both ride on my bike!"
Poor frog just gazed up balefully, accepting of his fate,
while Mary ran to get her wheels and left frog on the gate.....

Patiently frog waited, until he heard a squeal
as Mary sped around the corner, balanced on one wheel.
Then speeding up, she grabbed frog just in time as she flew past
and flung him in the basket, saying "Now let's go real fast!"
Pedalling along, a plan was forming in her head,
so cycling up a hill, she turned to frog and kindly said
"I'll let you ride my bike because you're sad and need some love",
then plonked him on the handlebars and gave the bike a shove.....
Now hurtling down a hill may seem like fun to normal folk,
but when you cannot reach the brakes, it really is no joke!
I guess it's kinda' fortunate that frog was always green,
because, if not, that ride sure guaranteed he would have been!
It must've been about halfway, the front wheel clipped a hillock
and as she watched poor frog take off, Mary felt a pillock.
Hindsight, though a wondrous thing, took just a tad too long,
so Mary set off at a trot to see where frog had gone....

Mary wandered aimlessly, all hope fading fast.
Convinced by now, that cycle ride would probably be frog's last.
Then finally, in sad defeat, she turned to head for home,
and spotted frog all squished up tight inside a traffic cone.
Crying tears of joy, she quickly spun the cone around
and vigorously bashed it up and down upon the ground.
After an eternity, she thought she heard a splat,
so carefully she took a peek, then screamed "Oh no, he's flat!"
Once again, poor Mary sobbed because of what she'd done,
wailing plaintively, out loud, "I really want my mum!"
Then scooping up her floppy, lifeless, temporary friend,
she held him to her cheek and said "I'm sad it had to end."
"I wanted to light up your face and make you want to smile."
"Instead I messed up badly and I put you through a trial."
Then sinking to her knees, with not a though for all the dirt,
she wiped her eyes and blew her nose upon her pretty skirt,
and holding frog , a single last remaining tear did fall
upon his nose, (and maybe just a drop of snot and all)…..

Suddenly, a feeling starting fluttering in her hand
and Mary watched frog stoically attempt to try to stand.
So using all her expertise (which really wasn't very much),
Mary tried to fashion twigs into some kind of crutch,
and when at last,  poor frog was now at least, the right way up,
she placed her hands so tenderly around him like a cup,
and lifted him close to her lips, then whispered in his ear
"I'm really glad you didn't die, I kinda' want you near.
Then putting all her squeamishness aside, with eyes shut tight,
she gave his nose a gentle kiss, all feathery and light.
What happened next was such an unexpected thing to see,
that Mary could not quite believe that this had come to be,
but there, before her very nose, was such a handsome boy,
that instantly she blushed and turned all giggly and coy....
He smiled at Mary as he gazed upon her crimson face, and said.
"The part I loved the most was doing the downhill chase!"
"The traffic cone was not that great but that's just how it goes."
And then he kissed astonished Mary on her freckly nose...….

The rest, as we all know, is 'happy ever after' land,
but Mary and her prince had some hair-raising antics planned.
Like scaling up Mount Everest, or swimming with the sharks.
And lots of scary escapades and foolish, silly larks.
But one thing you must take from this, whatever you may do.
Always be real nice to frogs 'cos sometimes dreams come true......

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