Marzipan and Kippers

My mother had a craving for kippers, carrying me,
so the fact that I loved them too was no mystery,
then she took me to a marzipan world of small men,
they spoke to me: 'Hello there, we'll be seeing you again.'

They were covered in Black Magic chocolate, still alive,
wouldn't go away, no matter how much you may strive,
'Please don't eat me,' they said, 'Let's play a game of chess,'
'If we capture your queen, then of us you must eat less.'

The kippers looked at me, hanging over the breakfast plate,
only five minutes to eat, otherwise for work I would be late,
my landlady stood over me making sure that I ate them all,
they said: 'When we're inside you, we'll make you feel magical.'

They did, 'smokies' from Arbroath made you feel like a man,
and still in my pocket were the small men made of marzipan.