This Mask of Mine

Sometimes in this world of ours we can't save we love the most

Sometimes its due to natural reason but sometimes its because of shit that goes on in their mind

What can we do help. How by telling them it is going to be alright by making them believe in something special

What if they have been let down so many damn times that the when the special moment comes along they believe its too good to be true and begin to wonder when they are going to hear the words "you've been punkd"

This mind of our is a fucked up machine 

Fact is our surroundings fuck it up even more. 

Someone may have the best unit beside them but if they feel one problem is too much sooner or later they are going to feel like the world is on their shoulder and its just crashing down on them

Stress is the word that drives people to insanity

Stress in wanted to achieve something 

Stress in wanted to do something good

Stress in wanting people to like you

and Stress because you don't want the monsters under your closet to seep through the cracks.

Those damn monster that have fucked you up so damn much that you seem to look for the first escape route. 

Unfortunately for me...mine was suicide. 

You can call me a quitter, a whimp or anything you want. 

I know people are fighting to live 

I know people are going through hardships 

And I know people are fighting to come to a land of opportunity 

But yet i find myself in a 5 by 5 box that is 6 feet high and seems to be shrinking

Those times even when i have a smile on my face seems to fade when one piece of the jenga puzzle of problems seems to crash down on me

What do you do then 

Ask for help from the people who ask you whats wrong and care for you but in the end you can only tell them a small portion of what is going on in your head

But even with that small portion they believe it is a major deal when you have come to a conclusion that that problem is just a pebble on the mountain of thoughts. 

An average person has approximately 70,000 thoughts.

Life is pretty harsh when 69,980 are negative thoughts. 

Multiple that by for thats 279,920 that have held me back and kept me down. Now what

You only show people what you chose to show them. 

Bury me in the mask I am wearing. I'd rather that then for people to see the evil that lives in my mind.