Define Happiness

Define Happiness:
Has it always been there inside me or has it always been triggered
And do the triggers come from being around people or from doing things.
Part of me wants to believe that but then why do I always come back to this feel.
Practically breaking apart internal and but unable to do anything
Ironically I find the need to be there for everyone and help them no matter what but no one can help me.
Now I don’t know what lies ahead cause the solution seems like a black chalkboard.
Erased solutions that didn’t work out still leaving behind marks of failed attempts
Struggling to find the reason for this sadness.
Source of my silent suffocation.
Is it the factor that I have realized what my future holds for me?
So the present restricts me because I didn’t build a solid foundation in the present.
Does that explain why I’ve forgot how to feel the truest form of happiness.
Excitement about certain things has been lost in this constant feeling of emptiness
Adjusting to this feeling doesn’t seem like the right thing to do because there is a piece of me that still hopes for a better future.
Does that make me a fool when the lows have trumped the high and im left questioning if happiness Is dead?