The thin line between Happiness and Madness

She was right when she said our paths always cross.

If it's after a few months or a few years we always find our way back to each other.

To this day I still consider her the only woman I truly ever loved.

But the line faded, I don't know if it's the person or the idea of who she was.

In my brain, she will always be that girl I first met who had all the potential in the world but didn't believe in herself.

That girl I spend day after day and night after night talking to in high school.

That girl who I tried to make myself available to every time she needed a friend.

How can I love someone so wrong for me I saw that future she preached but it's now faded.

But the idea of her being in my life hasn't.

She's cocaine and I'm the fiend.

Strong analogy but I don't know what to compare it to.

The moment we talk, the moment I see her, the moment we hug I know that I'm happy.

Happiness I haven't felt in a long time. But that smile fades.

Those feelings I always suppressed rise. And I start to believe every word she says. But it always ends in the same way.

Me picking up pieces of myself and trying to tape myself together for months to years.

She is my happiness yet she is my sadness.

She is my excitement yet she is my madness.

She is my cure yet she is my poison.

She is the best thing that happened to me but she will never be....mine.