The Promise That Holds Me Back

I can't see my future

I can't see me being in a long term relationship

I can't see myself getting married

I can't see myself having kids

I can't see myself growing old

I can't do all this because of a promise I made with myself. 

The promise said if I'm not happy with where I am I am gone and I leave everything to those who need it.

I live in the present but shuffle through those thoughts when I'm alone of what the future and the hardest part is I put a mental block on myself to not saw happiness past a certain time frame.

Because that would change everything.

That promise would change. And one thing I will hold onto till the day I die is that I am a man of my word.

So what happens now?

How do I prevent happiness?

I stop myself from gathering momentum because it's going to end soon.