mass silent sound cloud plunk from das bad ass monk  

thy macbook pro 
   contracted a deadly virus 
disallowing communication 
   between you and us
Tom MacDonald (the head 

   hombre honcho) didst tuss
sup hiz hands in utter futility, 
   and exhausting every suss
stain nibble dollop courtesy 
   sans himself and Russ

tea (a lifelong four footed 
   canine companion) 
   large as a small medium at large 
bow wow wing over seer christened Marge
a Jeff Bezos Amazon woman 
   demanding tubby address as "Sarge"

long days journey into night 
   without access 
to the world wide web, 
   newt hiz a bless
akin to experience 

   foreboding check mate playing chess
after one fateful opening gambit, 
   asper this poe whit doth express
he haint no "Garry Kasparov, 
   Anatoly Karpov, Bobby Fischer...
   or other prominent masters 

   nee virtual kings 
   aye coon fess
cuz y'all would 
   be on target to guess
this chipper chap 
   (now he iz back in busy 'n Hesse)

hive felt extreme dot com tremens 
   without recourse the cyber space
e'en though misgivings prevail bing  
   linkedin within the human race
and nah ver since birth, 
   hike hood never find my place

until...while very late in my puberty, 
   which lasted til age fifty and nine
orbitz 'round el sol, twas juiced recently 
   attained personal 
   accomplishments sans mine

kempf posse sub billy due to pertinent 
   Capricorn requisite plan nets 
   formed a heterosexual 
   instagram joyus chorus line 

predicated on verb hose noun sense 
   with brain matter makes me astute
and this union with the trappings 
   of virtual reality tub boot
would be akin to heaven 
   within the domain of this atheist - ole coot

whose purr add ventures scripting verse
sit aisle feeble rhyme with no reason 
   moost definitely hi yam not terse
aye speculate yar facial reaction 
   (understandably) would be 

   toe step from this purse
son i.e. Matthew Scott Harris 
   when ma time to ride luxuriously 
   in a plushly jeweled hearse

carrying thigh cremated ash
disagrees with me credo, ethos, 
   faith no more much less brash
since be yen entombed 
   in a coffin resistant to crash
vis a vis atoms either 

   forcibly split (divorced)  
   or tum marry in a shotgun flash
   (fission or fusion respectively)
   exhausts precious natural race horses 
   cruelly whipped 
   stinging fresh fielded gash
where putrescent hide of Equus resembles hash

sheesh, how in the of Judas Priest
did hie veer off into the least
common denominator, 
   which absolute value increased
the totally tubular confusion 
   into a worthless jumbled gobbledygook feast.