memories...

The memories we made run through my head day after day, night after night. I cant sleep with out crying out for you, I cant do anything we used to do with out stopping and thinking how much fun we had doing it. We were so close and yet we are so far. All your lies echo in my head. All are laughter fades with all the yelling. All the love fades with all the pain and lies you have filled me with, so why do you keep trying to show you "care"?? Why do I try and care for you and love you how I used to? Why did you try so hard to push me out and keep me down on the ground... I dont understand. Was I really that bad to you? I never gave up on you, I never quite loving you until now. I still love you just from a far never again will I let you in or close to me. You hurt me one to many times! People were right about you, you only care for your self and you could care less if someone else has been hurt. You think the world owes you something when it doesnt owe you anything! You owe it to your self to care and to forgive and forget. You owe it to your self to let go of the past and move forward to the future. Its your turn to say sorry and mean it this time, its your turn to see all the hurt and pain that you have created. Time to face your fears and your darkest demons. There is no were to run... I have played the memories over and over until i cant take it anymore and i cut the memories away and i cut the demons out with the memories. You need to grow up and see the real you. You need to know who your really are and who you have become all because of the monster in your past! Well guess what I have lots of monsters in my past, I have a lot of monsters in my future and I also have Angels in my past, present and future as do you. You were my Angel and yet i fear you now. You were my everything yet you chose to be nothing, You chose to be a Demon instead of an Angel! You are nothing but the past that is all you chose to live in. So fine stay in the past but I will move forward into my future and I will not follow in your foot prints as every one says I will. I decide to live my life the way I want to live it. I will live as an Angel that has been broken by many Demons but I get back up every time you stay down so no pain will come to you. Thats not how I remember you, You were strong, brave, loving, caring, true at heart, but you have lost hope and you will not open your eyes to see all the love around you! the memories are pointless to have if they mean nothing but lies and cheats! So im letting go of all the fake memories and letting go of the you that you chose to be. I will always remember the real you though. Good Bye Demons of the past, Hello Angels and fears of the future.