Two little girls

It started out sweet and romantic, we laughed together, we cried together, we talked. It was all great at the beginning. We loved each other and carried for one another. It was shortly after we first got together that we got pregnant with our first little girl... it was hard, you left at the beginning, I did it on my own for a while... it was just me and her, then you came back... you gave me the whole long speech of how you loved me and missed me and wanted to rise her together, I feel for it... she was 6 months old when we got pregnant with our second... I started to become more and more unhappy... you didnt spend any time with me or out first daughter you always yelled at her for being a kid... you started to drink and I started to pull away where I wouldnt get hurt... you didnt even notice me pulling away from you... through all that I still stayed and I still loved you... after our second was born you dumped me... you kicked me and our children out of our home. Our second daughter was a week old... I was already feeling very lonely before you dumped me... I was already going through postpartum depression, and then you went and did what you did... you said alot of mean and hurtful things, you put me down and yet after all of this I still find myself missing you... laying in bed at night missing your warm body laying next to mine... missing the warm cuddles... missing the way we slept... I find myself missing you during the day the way you would come home and talk about how your day was how you felt... what was going on with you... the plans you and your friends had..  I dont even know why I miss you... but I do. Maybe its cuz I really do love you... maybe its cuz this is the hardest thing i have done in my life and I'm proud of it. Yes it has been hard and up and down but I really did love you, and still do.