Mentality

 

30/08/2021

Mentality....

 

Arghh'

I just can’t get these thoughts out of my head.

Arghh!

They’re hurting my brain.

Arghh!

I feel like Someday,

To others,

I’d be better off dead.

Arghh!

Why is my inner voice trying to turn me insane.

Arghh!

 

Mentality to me, 

I can’t live with it,

I can’t live without it.

Mentality is nothing but a bitch to me.

So why can’t my thoughts meet in the middle,

Half way,

In-between.

Stressing in life.

Stressing in strife.

Stressing so much,

its causing a scene.

All because of my damn Mentality.

 

Argh!

Stop screaming at me ‘’DAD”.

I can’t handle that word much longer,

It’s driving me mad.

Arghh!

Why did I choose to have kids with her?

I wouldn’t change my kids.

Yet I would in an instant their mother.

Argh!

Why can’t people just be happy we’re happy.

Stop the bitching and harassing of us,

Instead of trying to make liz and I, 

Forever unhappy

Arghh!

There’s no need for this.

Not many out there actually give a piss.

Arghh!

 

Thoughts roaming your brains waves.

Riding each of them,

Determined to find out their cause,

 and how best to save your mental health. 

From falling through a danger strewn floor,

With a pit full of spikes and slithering snakes.

Not just physically,

My life,

For anyone.

Would be more than any other could take.

So my mentality is important to me.

Mentality is the only thing,

On this earth,

As humans,

is hard to see.

People seee you’re smiling on the outside,

Whereas Inside,

 is a completely different scene!

 

Arghh!

Why can’t I get these thoughts obscured from my line of sight.

Why when it gets dark and you can’t see in the night.

Seemingly all of my bad thoughts,

In our Darkest hour,

Still in my mind burn bright.

Arghh!

What is it with people,

Especially family that say they’ll always be there,

Yet disappear, 

When for me,

The time is right.

Arghh! 

How can they think I’m selfish,

When for my family,

Their best interests are always within my sight.

It’s just my medication that messes with my mind.

Arghh!

It’s not as if we chose now to break down,

Needing my family to reassure liz and I.

Making sure we’re both alright.

I get others have stress and pain in their lives.

Yet doesn’t mean that our pain doesn’t burn equally as fierce or bright.

Arghh!

 

All we needed is reassuring .

Just someone to talk to.

As my family have always told us both to do.

Not even physically, 

But mentally.

Just a call would have settled me right.

Now all we are getting is crap,

Which is what we’re trying to stamp,

Out of our lives!

Yes we are the happiest we’ve ever been in a relationship sense.

Still doesn’t mean though that we have no life of living strife.

I’ve had death looming over me for 21 years,

Yet people forget we live a life of not knowing if there’ll be another day.

That’s the simple reason,

I wanted the full support of my whole family!

Instead I find out,

All they do is bitch about me!

ARGHHHHHHHHH!

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