Mental~Strain

Stop please, just shut the hell up! I cannot keep going on like this, they all think I’m crazy because they cannot witness your messages. You keep whispering sin and the calls become louder the more I ignore, why can’t I not hear you anymore? Why must I have a mind you’ve chosen to reside in, will you ever resign? The answer has always been “NO” some days may pass but the time in silence never lasts, I just want to feel okay someday but you aren’t willing to let me EsCaPe… I’ve avoided doctors, therapists, counselors, relatives and even my god damn parents, all because they will just want to pump me with drugs, I know the problem, I know what needs to be done, I can’t just solve it, because, because, because there’s no cure for the demons within, these skeletons have been with me since I was in skin, there’s no hope for me…

my only goal in life, is to maintain this condition that effects my brain and prevent it from getting worse, avoiding a worse recourse, I live with these scars, I never had a chance to rehearse, I never had a chance to be free, these lies make up the honest and false parts of me, hereditary embedded from roots that have been deeper than the love I was shown, grown the role of the host that commands this mind, my heart contradicts every-time what it’s thoughts are as I get lost between the two, why? Must I be like this?