Monster IN My Bed!

Monster IN My Bed
Decibels at danger level, every night the same.
Flashing telly through my eyelids, driving me insane
Flicking through the channels makes me want to scream out loud.
Volume up so high it feels like sleeping in a crowd.
As usual you're oblivious, you haven't got a clue,
of all the HIDEOUS things my mind has conjured up for you!.....
For every channel change, another toe will disappear!
And next time you switch ON the light, I'm taking OFF an ear!
Volume was a tricky one, so broke it down in fives.
Each jump is my signal to bring out some BIGGER knives!
Even when you fall asleep, this HELL will carry on,
I'll be lucky to catch forty winks before the crack of dawn!.....
First, the gentle snuffling, I once considered cute.
Followed by the grunting pig with his whistling flute.
Then a deathly silence as your brain forgets to breath.......
Awakening my fantasies of what I'll wear to grieve.
A Richter seven yanks me back from pleasant reverie.
Ensuring, YET AGAIN it simply wasn't meant to be!
When at last you quieten, I pray that peace will fall....
But no!!! NOW you're a racehorse, trying to break free from a stall!
Arms and legs flail everywhere, hogging all the bed.
Oh how much I long to pull a bag over your head!
Hours pass 'till morning comes and then you turn to me....
and say " Cor! You look knackered love! D'ya want a cuppa tea?"