Mornings Are Hard

My Sunday Morning Homily

Listen up my faceless friends

I do knowingly contend
from first hand experience
that morning wood
as rock hard and majestic as it may be
in all it's masculine perfection
is really a fake erection
and it's utilization
for the express ejaculation purposes
either in solitary
or with a drowsy friend
can and should be classified
as artificial sex

Can I get an amen?