My Big Mistake

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He Didn't Help Me Feel Ok
Man I just lost one I love so dear
I have to realise she'll never be here
Ever again and now I'm numb
I chew lots of gum
To relax myself
My fingers always drum
On the table
Will I be able
To feel whole again
When will I come out from my den
I turn to men
To take my mind off this loss
I don't mean to come across
As a depressed wreck
At what cost
Will I feel sane
My heart strains
To repare
I thought I could find some even ground
Something to stop my mind from spinning around
I turned to you Jason
I was so shaken
I thought you could help me feel better
Cos I knew you too had been through this shreader
I know you lost one too
I thought you could help me pull through
U remember when you held your arms out with a smile
I walked to you and you wrapped me in your arms as I cried
You stroked my hair
I felt that someone cared
So happy you were there
So relieved I could share
My feelings with someone
It was weird tho cos you weren't saying anything
It was weird I felt your breath quicken
I heard your hear beating
With my ear to your chest
Then I stressed
When I felt your groin harden
Yep you cracked a hard one
I felt it press into my thigh
I pulled away and looked into your eyes
You just looked down at me with a grin
Your fingers lingered on my skin
I was so shocked
Your head cocked
And you tried to grab my breasts
When you saw my anger you tried to protest
But I had already turned
My cheeks burned
And I learned
A valuable lesson as I ran from you
You pretended to be concerned
But I kept running
Wondering how you could be so cunning
I just wanted some stability
But all I felt was vunrebility
Because of your stupidity
When I finally got around the corner
I slid down the brick wall
Feeling like a mourner
I just wanted to feel ok for her
But now I'm alone again
I don't feel like no warrior
I wipped my tears and decided I had no choice
But to ignore her
© 5 hours ago, Lee   rhyme   
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My Big Mistake
Girls are emotional creatures
With their powerful yet delicate features
Sometimes we do crazy things
Stuff you'd never think
But to us it's totally normal
For us there's no need to be formal
Sometimes when we're Lonley
We touch eachother slowly
Sometimes we flirt with our close friends
And no we're not lesbians
It's just a friendly way to make eachother feel confident
As least I wasn't one anyway...
At first I found it weird
But then I got veared
To thinking it was all ok
And one day....
I was really drunk
At a friend house we bunked
One of my close friends *****my
Took advantage of me
I wouldn't call it rape
I didn't refuse
Cos I was drunk, not thinking straight
Anyway I chucked alitte bit
On my shirt and I was like ****
I giggled at my clumsyness
And tried my very best
As we stumbled through her house
I remember her hand running across my chest
And the flicker in her eyes, no coincidence
She said I should have a shower
I was like now? This hour?
She insisted
I listened
We went in the bathroom
If only I know this would be the doom
Of our friendship
She pulled of my clothes and ****
I remember the feeling of her hands on my hips
The smile on her lips
Then she was naked too
She whispered boo
I did what she asked me to
She helped me in the shower
She seemed to have this power
I didnt know why
But she told me she didn't like guys
I was giggley, intoxicated
I squinted, my vision kinda pixelated
I said hahah. Nice try
Then she grabbed my body feircly
She said come on Lee
Don't make this more complicated
The feirce rawness of her voice mad me feel bad
So I co operated
I was also lonley at the time
At that point I didn't mind
When she rubbed her breast against mine
At first I was kinda frozen like ice
But it quickly melted, it felt alright
Then I was turned on
It illuminated any hesitation
I hadn't been touched for so long
Then we were two slippery female bodies
The feeling of someone elses breasts was new to me
and she was so easily satisfied
Cos I was a woman I knew why se liked
Dunno what was going on in my mind
But I remember the fuzzy feeling
The water droplets beading on our naked bodies
I remember how she pressed me into the wall
I was drunk and horny, I didn't think at all
As her hands ran up and down me
She told me I was sexy
This was how she wanted it to be
And that she always has a thing for me
The shock didn't register at first
I was too full of thirst
I slid down that wall
My arse hit the floor
I remember how she pushed her body between my legs
I remember how she touched me
How passionately she kissed me
I remember how quick she found that spot called 'G'
The water, our hair
Me sucking in lots of air
Then she played with my clit
At the time I admitt
I didn't care
My train of thought wasn't there
I wasn't thinking of tomorrow or the next day
I just wanted to play
I remember clutching her body
And just moaning
I remember sinking my teeth into her shoulder
I thrusted my body against her
I should of told her
But I didn't, I cried out as my toes curled
I remember her moan in my ear
Then she started doing herself with a desperate cheer
I remember our pants and whimpers
As she continued we were breathing heavy
I remember her mouth on my breasts
Her tongue in my mouth and mine in hers
Then she layed against me
The water continued to fall
As I listened to our quick heart beats
When our panting slowed
That's when the reality showed
I thought what have I done
She found it so fun
Next morning I wanted to deny it
Say I didn't remember one bit
And that's what I did
We grew distant
I think she knew
I had a bigger clue
That I let on
Ages weeks later
She met me alone at my locker
She pushed me against it
And let me tell you. I'm a strong girl
But I couldn't shake her
I looked in her eyes
I seen hurt and and anger, they were wide
She said I know you remember that night
Why are you denying it?
She told me she'd loved me for so long
I told her I didn't like girls and it was wrong
She tried to kiss me that day
I pulled away
And after that things were never the same
And it was my fault it went that way
I lost a close friend cos of lust
This was my big mistake