My Butt Hurts

I pulled a 
hamstring
Today
While
Patrolling 
The
Beat

No sympathy 
From
The criminal
And only
Laughter
From
My fellow
Officers

Will be no
High chases
By foot
Today

Just a 
Donut
A cup of
Coffee
And 
Some
BENGAY
TO SOOTH
THE
PAIN

Dispatch
If one
Of my
Subordinates
Needs 
Me
Let Them
know
The Corporal
Is just
Around
The
Bend

Might take
Some
Time
Today
But
I dont 
Do
Worker's
Comp

I am  just not
Wired that
Way

Give me
A perp
A set 
Of handcuffs
And A prayer
To Jesus
And I will have 
The offender
See eye to
eye
With me

A soothing voice 
Goes
Further
Than an arrogant 
Authoritarian 
hand

If that does
Not Work
There is always
Pepper Spray.......