My closure

My Closure

My pores hold on to a memory I can not erase
Your sweat is mixed with hatred, blinding me like mace
And your body repulses me
But your arrogance is all I see
The exit is only feet away
But your heavy weight on my frame begs me to stay
Our bodies connect
This desire and arousal for you I regret
But your words are like silk, pleasant to touch
At this moment I want the pleasure so much
You smile and all I see is malice on your lips
I cringe and you enter between my hips
My heart disintegrates with your rough touch
I hatred I have for you stings so much
I plead to God that this isn't real
But my insides tearing is all I feel
My emotions are almost damaged beyond repair
But it would not have happened had you cared
Yet you still smile while I frown
Your actions beg me to fail and drown
But you didn't recognize a huge trait I acquire
I have a strong heart and it still burns with fire
But there's something I need you to know
I forgive you and daily pray for your soul
It's still hard to deal with the pain
But through that hurt there's much I've gained
I'm still hurt today
You hurt me so badly and had nothing to say
I realize time has past
Your family is growing up so beautiful and fast
I just missed how close we used to be
I long to see your children who once adored me
But I realize things will never be as they once were
And it saddens me that you chose for this to occur
But you're missing out on the wonderful person I've become
I'm now greater than where I came from
And if I saw your face today I would give you the respect you never returned
Through all this sorrow there is much I've learned
I now hold my life at a higher standard
And at times I still fall hard but my life is still held in high regard
While you hurt me I still have gratitude
Because you helped me develop a better attitude
I hope you were able to forgive yourself as well
And find a way off your destructive trail
I hope you've made a man of your son and broke the chain
And I hope good knowledge and wisdom he is able to retain
Teach your daughters what to expect from a man
Be their hero and biggest fan
I miss what I once had
But I refuse to stay angry and sad
What's been lost has created a new gain
I will not wallow in my pain
Our friendship is long gone
And I don't know the type of man you've become
But I pray and hope you're well
Live life and create new stories to tell
Because I know I will
I still have goals to fulfill