~My Mental illness~

And so it begins..

Another dark day in my paradise is coming to an end 

Darkness descends night closes in 

I'm battling my war within 

A personal conflict once again with the demons inside 

That twist and distort my thoughts 

Unleashing a raging storm in my head 

Let me try to explain my level of stages of a mountain of crippling emotions of torment 

And the enemies that fill up the pages of my tragedy 

If you understand Mental illness then you can relate to my demise 

And if by chance you don't understand then I will walk you through my mental illness 

That destroys me physically and mentally every day living in a nightmare and it never ends

It's almost like being asleep but instead your forever awake playing the role that has no end 

This is my sickness 

Anxiety / Depression / Insomnia attacking me all at once 

Being ambushed with so many emotions like: pain, torment, despair, drowning, 

Suffocating, breathless, demons, darkness, empty, hopelessness, tears and loneliness ect...

These are the enemies that consume me and when my mental illness attacks me 

I struggle with all these feelings on a daily basis when I battle my personal war within 

It can be overwhelming and sometimes I lose the fight and my demons win

Losing the fight is when everything that I'm feeling just fades and I feel empty inside, you know hollow and dead 

And when I reach this level in my mind I just close my eyes and disappear because feeling nothing is like being dead

And one thing I really can't explain about my mental illness is that I will never understand why I am forever drowning in emotions 

That hold no answers to why I have to feel so much all at once and never really comprehend as to why

My severe depression / Anxiety / Insomnia will always have a death grip on me

So now I will explain my conflict with my demons 

And the thoughts that destroys everything 

Mind: Can you silence the demons screaming inside me? 

Can you break free from the thoughts that pollutes and distort the words that explodes the storm of rage I try to hide in me?

Heart: Can you cover up the hole that consumes me with so much pain? 

Can you cover your tracks that ripped and tore me apart? 

Can you erase the memories? 

Wipe away the marks left behind? 

Heart: Can you sow up your wounds from your broken and shattered past? 

Mend the seams that tore apart? 

Soul: Can you pick up your pain and wash away the blood you always drown in?

Can you heal up your scars that left you broken inside? 

Soul: Can you let go of all your pain and learn how to live again?

~Broken187Soul~

Copyright 01-20-17