my plea

I fall to my knees

my body weak and trembling

i raise my arms up to you

every breath I take, more labored than the last

my eyes are swollen and bloodshot 

accompanied by tear streaked cheeks

from the pain I now bear...

I gaze up to you

a look of bewilderment overshadows the

insurrmountable pain that has recently claimed its place

where laughter and smiles once called home

through quivering lips I cry out to you

not the expected and far too often whines

woe is me and why me...

my plea is of another kind

i long for understanding

how it could be that my loving Father up above

would bless me with such epic gifts

so grand that man has historically spent a

lifetime seeking?

please allow me to understad

if all is planned, let me in on the concept

of my existence...

was it some sort of experiment?

gone awry? a defect?

there must be a reason...

a reasoning to no 

"pot of gold at the end of my rainbow"

although I did receive some shiny, solid gold pieces atop

i even recall thinking

alas, this is my reward

i say, fighting the war I have,

grasping for anything to climb my way out of those trenches

was undoubtably worth every

sweet moment that my life has now become

to my despair 

only but a moment was how long those

blissful moments lasted

ripped away so callously

along with my heart, and most of me

this is why I plead...

what was the point?

to see how much one heart can bear before it

really breaks apart? 

So nowadays I pray,

next time, keep your gifts

i don't want to merely taste the reward.

© Sarah sobel. All rights reserved,