Myself

 I pray hard enough and zigzag through the direct line trying not to keep my soul in darkness and leave me useless, untrusting and void of all that will bring me back to what I need to get by.  So much has been taken from me I begin to pray against my own wills and feel darkness take a hold of me and drown me in a deep black river. How do I begin each day when I feel so defeated, how can I get back to where I once was? So happy and oblivious to the hurricane in my path, it blew me over and crushed my bones. Life wants me back,  can I dig myself out or do I lay down and die. It is now my chance to pray for myself and take shelter, conquer what can be done to move forward, rebuild and have dignity again. Pray for myself, mind, body and soul. I deserve this. I want happiness, I want myself back…