No King in My Castle

No King in My Castle
 

There is no king in my castle. Nor do I wish there ever to be. No soulmate, no twin flame, no... I am purely and simply me.

I will not share my throne, nor fall under the rule of another. I wish to rule only my land and myself and no other.

Five loves I had all at once. All so eager to please. Looking to me as a goddess, a love and a friend. Each swore to stay and fight by my side from now to the very end. 

I never asked to be anyone's one and only. In fact I adored watching you all love others as you loved me. I always wanted you all to be loved, happy and free.

I would step into danger for any of you and fight any beast that turned your way. I would kill or die to save you, loves. Gods or titans I would slay. 

Then the one so far away... Over a vast and deep blue sea... Well, life had other plans for him that no longer included me. 

Then the quiet one... That hair of silky twilight shadows that nearly brushed the floor. Well, he simply gave up his will and I would reach for him no more.

Then the other... Reteched thing. An obligation more than desire. I felt I owed him my affection, but I never felt the fire. Then he thought to plunder from my Royal wealth, caring nothing for my sorrow or my health. Wishing to feast at my table and never do his part, so I recanted my devotion, though he never had my heart.

Then there was the shining prince. All Norse stature and chiseled perfection. So desperate for my approval, adoration and affection. But when my duties called to me and mother brought the sky to the ground... He ran like a cowered, as the tower fell, and was nowhere to be found.

Still one love remained. A Fae Lord who loved me from the misty shores... Where the sacred waters gave me sight. For years he watch me lovingly, longing to wear the horns for me in that sacred right.

He watched my rage without fear. Witnessed weakness without judgment and admired my goddess given gifts without ever laying claim. He loved me unconditionally , knowing that I, watching from such a distance, could not be sure I felt the same.

Finally the North wind arrived and swept the mist away. Allowing him to cross the murky wasters, dark and gray. I did not expect to match his desire, but I fell deeply in love in his arms that day. How I wished that he could stay, but the tides came in to take his boat away.

I keep him in a stone, one to match his own, with me wherever I must go. My lady leads me into battle and mine is the only fate she simply will not show. My boots have worn thin, my skin is cracked and torn by the snow. My body is weak and weary, but my love continues to grow. I let in imposters of love, because I did not know it well. Dear Fae Lord, because of you, now I know, because you are the only one who reached out to catch me when I fell.

There will never be a King in my castle, but my love wishes not to rule my land. He serves and loves a Queen of his own, for her too, I will protect with sword in hand

There will be no King in My Castle. No throne beside my own. Like the Mother Confessor or Morgan of the Fae, I bow to no king. But where others only taught me to endure and fight... Only one has taught my heart to sing.