A Note
I awake to a note folded gently beside my head,
I look to the bottom of the note to see,
It says " hurry, come find me."get out of bed."
I get out of bed all excited and a mess,
His name, a heart and again his phrase "
I don't care for my hair or in what I dress.
I look around and his smile beams through the opened door,
I spot him and run from across the floor.
A glance to his face and up to his eyes,
Most days I wish there was never goodbyes.
A hand to his face, my day he had made.
As my fingers touch him he begins to fade.
Darkness takes hold of every inch,
I awake to feel an irritating pinch.
In my throat the pain of keeping back tears,
It was all a dream....that's one of my fears.
To wake from a dream and feel so alone,
The emptiness creeping as I moan.
The pain of holding back tears wares on me,
I let them stream though no one can see.
The hurt I feel never goes away,
With a full heart I hope and I pray that soon I will be there someday.
Love knows no boundaries and even though we try,
Most days all we can do is cry.
A note means a lot, especially, no cost and free.
But nothing is better than him being with me.
[Photo does not belong to me, I do not know who created it ,but they get all the credit]
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Comments
I tried to write a poem this time but I don't know how well it worked or not. Leave Comments and Constructive Criticism :)
Hey Shellandra,
Just my opinion but if you switch the first (6) lines around and the second to the last line word switch, it will look as such...Other wise this is a perfect storm of a poem and very pretty...Just my opinion on the slight reconstruction...
Cheers,
Jimmy
I awake to a note folded gently beside my head,
I look to the bottom of the note to see,
It says " hurry, come find me."get out of bed."
I get out of bed all excited and a mess,
His name, a heart and again his phrase "
I don't care for my hair or in what I dress.
I look around and his smile beams through the opened door,
I spot him and run from across the floor.
A glance to his face and up to his eyes,
Most days I wish there was never goodbyes.
A hand to his face, my day he had made.
As my fingers touch him he begins to fade.
Darkness takes hold of every inch,
I awake to feel an irritating pinch.
In my throat the pain of keeping back tears,
It was all a dream....that's one of my fears.
To wake from a dream and feel so alone,
The emptiness creeping as I moan.
The pain of holding back tears wares on me,
I let them stream though no one can see.
The hurt I feel never goes away,
With a full heart I hope and I pray that soon I will be there someday.
Love knows no boundaries and even though we try,
Most days all we can do is cry.
A note means a lot, especially, no cost and free.
But nothing is better than him being with me.
Shellandra&Clint, congratulations for the nomination.....
jim
Thank you very much! It's not often I get constructive criticism, or criticism at all from someone other than myself :)
Figuratively speaking,we all have things that needs fine tuning and i too if you were to read any of mine, i am sure you could have placed in it, a new word or two are an idea, that would have pointed out, that which was not noticed by me.....Thanks Shellandra and feel free to critique mine at any time....Hope he makes it home soon so those notes will once again be within your awakened reach.....
Cheers,
Jim