Nothing Changes

You see, when I lay in my bed eight years old..
All I could hear was your fist striking her body.
I hugged my teddy bear, praying to God you would quit.
Im fifteen years old and still battling with this.
I battle the pain of flashbacks to when you beat my mother,
I battle the pain of knowing you never wanted me.

I remember when you told me that I was a mistake,
and that you should have left when you had the chance.
I smiled and said "I love you too." and you jumped to get in my face
Somewhere in your scruched up face, mangled and exhausted,
I saw something that made me laugh..
I saw a man that was angered so quickly, I wondered why?
Why did you lose your temper so fast?
Why were your facial expression always mad?
Why are you so ugly as a person?
Why were you never my father?
and I learned not to bother, not to bother you or even the thought as to why you were like that.

You see, people never change, and you were never really sane
This will always remain the same, you will always have an unrecognizable face.
Isn't it a shame? I don't even call you "dad" I call you by your name.
I hope you'll listen some day, to the words I'm starting to say.