Often

  I often sit and wonder what's on your mind. In fact that's what I do most of the time. I'm drawn to you like a moth to a flame. I've enjoyed pleasure but I've also endured pain. I've waited on you  Everytime that you've left. Ive been the one Everytime you needed help. I've remained loyal even when you cheated. I fought to make sure you had what you needed. I've loved you when I didn't love myself. I put you first above everyone else. I held on when you let me go. I've hid my tears so no one would know. See I often wonder what's going on in your head. Like who your holding when your not in our bed. The times that you leave for days you stay gone. Not a call not a text as I sit all alone.  Who's pillow you lay on as you lay down to sleep. The table you sit at when your ready to eat. What does she looks like is it anything like me. Does she love you better or can that even be. I've often wondered if I would be ok. If I could be strong enough to just walk away. To change my number and the locks on the doors. To realize I'm worth it and deserve so much more. To wake up tomorrow with no tears in my eyes. As I start loving me and tell you goodbye.