Poem -

One Last Breath...

One Last Breath...

Staring at that one photograph, the one that makes me laugh, the one that draws a tear,
Drinking to a bottomless glass, a glass that tells the truth, a glass that awakens my fears, 
A wasted father, that fed off the grease of chip fat daily news, 
Dressed in denim, drunk with venom, never embracing my truth.

If I lived, with one last breath,
I'll know, I've been a drunken mess,
If I lived, with one last breath,
I know, that God will never forget,
With one last breath,
My heart, I will undress...

I'm a guilty man, I know that I failed, standing outside of a pub doorway, one for the road, I so craved, 
I was in a band, then sang on the karaoke, I tried to get back, what I never had, for happy hour, it was never too late.

I was called a junkie, scumbag and a bum, this I deserved, even when I was young,
I slept around, I was carefree, lived my life, like it was other people that was numb, 
I pretended that I was something, then I realised, that I was nothing, 
My fingers were stained yellow, off the cigarettes, I kept in my back pocket.

If I lived, with one last breath,
I'll know, I've been a drunken mess,
If I lived, with one last breath,
I know, that God will never forget,
With one last breath,
My heart, I will undress...

While my selfish thoughts were camouflaged by salted peanuts, I smoked my last fag, down to the butt,
While I had a wife at home, I spoke to the barmaid with a devils tongue, to the lovely lady, I was just a lying scruff! 
I walked the streets of self pitty, I stalked the people from the big city,
Lights were shining, I felt the electricity, again, it's my time for celebrity! 

I'm not asking for an apology, I don't deserve anything but hurt,
For my wife and child, I've never been anything but a blackened curse,
So, I still stare at this photograph, I'm glad that it makes me laugh, 
I can't remember that sound with my father, but I've still lived his past.

Now it's time to be judged, 
I know I've failed, so I won't begrudge,
With one last breath, I draw a tear,
With one last breath, now I've no fear,
God, please take me home,
But not before, 
I have one more for the road...