Pain...

Pain

Pain

Pain

And never any gain

They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger

But inside I feel it's making me die

I can't lie

Sometimes I feel as if I should die

The pain just brings the rain,

And makes the clouds roar and thunder in vein,

There's no end to this pain,

Baby why can't I remember my name,

Because to everyone I'm a no one,

So that's all I am to myself as well,

Cause welcome to society,

We're names are who you are,

And I am an useless freak,

And here's the twist 

My blade is the cure,

Just a slit in my arm

Makes all the pain go away

No time to waist 

Because I'm just a freak

So I take the hit and the shove and except my fate,

And slice the hip,

No need to say the word love,

Cause the word can only belong to those of a name,

As I am a useless no one,

Who'd dare fall in love with me

To just fall fade and cheat,

And lie so I could fall and die of heart break,

I am a lonely forever useless freak

Just to keep adding to the names

Everything I think 

Just later comes to be proven right

I'm sure there all be laughing when I'm dead

And I'm sure no one will remember me

Just a 10 second piece on a news saying a recent scuicide

And then I'm gone

Wonder if my mother 

Would notice me gone

The crimson red blood warm and thick drips from my arms,

I guess this must be it,

Death by blood loss,

But I knew I couldn't bare

Being caught again

So I grab the gun

And make one last call

"I love you baby and this is for the best,

I was nothing but barriers holding you back,

I wish for you to be free from this burden,

Me...

I love you my love, goodbye."

Without hanging up.

I pull the trigger and fall to the floor

Hearing fade crying from the phone

Till I saw the fade lights coming towards my eyes.

I open my eyes and except my fate.

This is it,

There's nothing left,

All I remember is vague tears as I closed my eyes,

I hear Loud voices as I lay arrest,

Voices I HAVNT heard in years,

One of them was my mother,

Saying I love you,

And some of the other voices were saying similar things,

Bright lights begin to fill my eyes,

I open them to see what appeared to be a cave,

I saw an light on the other far end of the cave,

I looked down to what apeared all to be a train,

It was heading towards the light,

At a steady speed,

I reach out to touch the edge of the cavernous outer edge of the cave,

It was soft and curved around my hand.

"Babe nooo wake up! Wake up!"

I could hear my wife crying and sobbing as if she was right next to me.

"Get her back!" Yelled a man.

"Clear!" 

"Again!"

"Clear!"

The voice got loader and the lights begin to dim and fade.

What was happening?

"Please I'm sorry son I am so sorry and if this is your way of making me pay then I guess I deserve this I just hope you can forgive me for the years of things I made you endear I didn't think it would escalate this far!"

I wasn't quite sure who this was.

Was it my mother?

It couldn't be.

I haven't seen here in years sence the fight.

And I ran away.

But how did she get here so fast?

Either way I'm not going back I don't want to,

I only wished that this train would speed up faster.

"Please baby wake up I'm pregnant I can't raise him alone I only stayed away from you because I was afraid to tell you and I wasn't sure if I wanted to have a child yet, but I'm ready but I can't do it without you." 

Again I heard my wife sobbing and I guess I should of known by the way she was walking.

But going back now is not an option I was already to far gone,

With a bullet in me along with huge gashes in my body,

".........."

An hour went by and complete silence.

Am I dead?

Is this death?

What's wrong with me?

"Beep, beep, beep"

Is that a heart monitor I hear?

But how?

Why can't I just be left alone,

"I'm sorry to tell you this but your husband is in a comma,"

"Is he okay when will he be awake?"

"Only he can decide that to be honest no one knows what happened in a Comma,"

What?

What does that mean?

How do I decide?

It was then a huge bright light came into my eyes.

I was afloating outside of my body,

I could see everything,

I was wired up to all kinds of machines and my wife was holding my hand,

....

To be continued

....

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