Poem - 26 January 2018, 08:36

I Stand So Close, Yet So Far Away

I Stand So Close, Yet So Far Away
Written and published by:Dameon Farris
Classmates/Co-Authors: Audrey & Randi

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(This story is finished. And no more chapters will be released. Its Cool I Understand, I have many more poems to read as well. But do also understand that this is a class project and not a full book. Also, thank Audrey, and Randi for helping coming up with the story idea. Along with helping with the art.)

Without any further adieu. I bring to you. I Stand so Close, Yet So Far Away.

In this pit I would lie.
Wishing that I would just die.
I was feeling so hollow
Empty even
As the blood drained dry.
This is the way my life was.
No denying my heart felt pain.
My story starts,
just like every other story.

I Stand so close,
Yet so far away,
Why can't she stay,
Why does she have to die?
God isn't there some other kind of way?
Cancer no,
Cancer why?
Is this her fate,
Or was it mine.
If she goes,
I might be next,
I don't want to be alone.

It won't be long until she is gone.
I know she isn't going to a better place,
For we are alike.
For we have pain.
We don't care if the world burns up in flames.
I can't bare to think of a world without her.

I don't care if I end up dying,
As long as she is there too.
There is nothing we can't get through.
She is here often. But this time was different.
She had old scars that lied on her wrist.
And I knew how she got them too.
She blamed it on cats,
But I knew the truth.

They don't say it.
Yet everyone already knows.
I hated myself on the inside.
And I knew she felt the same, but with herself.

I met her one day,
when I ran out to the back,
When I was attending my therapist,
I had a blade afraid.
She had a lighter looking back at me.
Since that day we became a thing.

I visited her once again at the hospital.
With her last breath,
She choose to speak with me.
"I don't care if this kills me,
But whatever goes down,
You will not follow me,
For you will now, never be alone.
I will be your guardian,
You are no longer that silent kid.
You now have me on your side.
I won't no longer be able to speak with you,
But I hope you will still be able to feel me...
With you."
She then faded away.
Her words stained my thoughts like a black tattoo.
It pierced straight through my core,
now a part of me forever.

The next day,
I was afraid.
For now, that she was gone,
A part of me was too.
I wanted to leave with her.
But she made me promise, not to.
But what's worth living,
Now that she is gone.
I held this blade, close to my chest.
I knew that, this is what I wanted,
But as I concentrated,
I found myself unable to do it.
There was this feeling stopping me.
As if, someone was not letting me do it.
As if, another hand was holding my blade,
I ignored it and pulled it away,
And shoved it towards me,
Yet again,
But some force stopped me.
That's when I felt it.
A feeling that I wasn't alone.
I silently whispered out her name.
Just to test something.
Butterflies shot through my body,
a huge surge of emotions passed over me,
As tears flowed through me.
For she told the truth.
And I wasn't alone.
And she never left.
She was here.
Right beside me.
Just like she promised.

And that pretty much catches you up to date.
Why I'm lying in a pit though,
Well.
I was finally adopted one day.
I forgot to mention I lived in a foster home.
The family was kind.
And about the blood draining dry thing?
It was Halloween.
And I was the mindless zombie.
And I was playing hide and seek with my new brother.
As for that girl.
I still feel her close to me some days.
Watching me.
I talk to her every night.
I know she will never reply.
But pretending she can makes me feel better.
That and my new little brother helps me through it.
He makes us play video games.
And all the things I always wanted to try.
I guess it all ended out good for all of us.
Although I still felt hollow.
But emotions that strong will take time to heal.
It's not everyday you lose your best friend to cancer.
But to be honest, I guess I never really lost her.