Paradox of Anxiety

We sit at the table not a care in the world
No idea of the plans that will be unfurled
As you begin to speak, you hypnotize
I start to get lost in your beautiful eyes

I awake from my sleep as I feel a deep quake
Is it my heart or my soul I begin to feel shake 
I slowly realise that it's both and  it's neither
My heart won't save me 
And my mind won't either.

Despite all the good that's happening tonight
As our spirits embrace in the candle light
Thousands of words make my mind swell
Thousands of stories I'm itching to tell
But it's the negative few on which I dwell.

I dwell on the stories that hurt me the worst
I don't want a repeat 
I don't want to feel cursed.
I know you're the one , and I think you know too
I don't know what to say but at the same time I do 
The paradox of anxiety . The Catch 22.

I don't want to develop the terrible habit
Of falling for someone who plays me a fool
Where I become Alice and follow the rabbit.

That is my truth
I hope you can use it
Don't be like the rest 
Who chose to abuse it.