Past catching up on me

​​​​​​​​​I feel like I'm dieing inside, like the old me is not alive. 

The past is catching up on me, everyday I see.

People think they understand, they just think she'll be ok. But this isn't something thats just going to go away. My past haunts me everyday.

Its not something I choose to see, its not something I want to think about. 

I don't want this at all, but its out of my control. 

Its hard to explain, when I don't even understand it all. 

I've always believed flashbacks were normal to see, but that's not what my doctor told me.

My past is closing in on me, trapping me. That once scared little girl is still here deep inside of me.

I don't want to see, my once forgotten memories. I don't want to re live those feelings again. The flashbacks I see, will forever haunt me. 

I feel so much, yet somehow I am totally numb. I just wish my head would forget what my eyes have seen.

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