Patrick

No need to explain who you are,
The one that got away, a love too far,
It should have been you that first time,
Loving you, you with her, always felt like a crime.

I never met my madness till one day I did,
I saw signs but ignored them, from it I hid.
I wanted, wished, craved for it so badly,
A love so deep, I needed it madly. 
I thought you were him, I held hope you were,
Promises broken, in the end you chose her.

I thought I knew you but what did I know?
So far from it, the truth stings in the afterglow.
You called me beautiful that day in the park,
After that moment, my life, it drew dark,
But remembering that time brings light to my day,
That you could see me, see me beautiful in that way.

I never spoke much about when I was ill,
But the days were so lonely I remember them still,
My illness took over but in my mind you were there,
Your words made me feel that maybe you cared,
I loved the idea of what we could be,
But the want and desire came solely from me.

In the hospital bed I’d stay up at night,
Hearing your voice with you nowhere in sight.
The most painful but soulful loves I’ve ever had,
In some ways at least though, I guess I am glad. 
It taught me the depth of my love for you,
Even if just for the idea of us two.