Pretend

Can we play Pretend? A little girl had once asked me.

I smiled at her and nodded my head showing her I agreed.

She smiled up at me and said ‘You can be the princess who lives in the palace

Who smiles and waves and has a stunning social status

But most of all you’ll be the one who everyone loves,

A vision of wonderful sent from above’

I laughed it off and continued to play

But my heart it had swelled and began to decay.

She looked up at me with her big blue-grey eyes

And I noticed the bruises peeking out from under her disguise.

Her eyes filled with something I couldn’t seem to comprehend

As she took my hand in hers I tried to pretend

That what I had seen wasn’t breaking my heart,

Eating my insides and tearing me apart.

A sad laugh had escaped from her lips

And her hand slipped away out of my grip.

What she asked me next was what really got to me.

She said ‘Do you think god ever hears my plea?’

My eyes filled with tears and I asked her what she meant

Then she told me ‘Well my mommy wonders if she’ll be able to pay the rent.

My daddy’s a deadbeat who hurts my mommy and I.

And all I wanna know is if God can see me cry’

I shook my head and pretended not to hear

Shutting her out and drowning in fear.

Once she left I sat down and I cried.

And started to sort through all the never ending lies.

I replayed those words over and over, again in my mind,

Like the sand in the hourglass I was running out of time.

A sudden sadness enveloped me leaving me hollow.

And it was then I wondered if she would ever see tomorrow.

Cuz I once was that girl. Who asked to play pretend

As an escape from a world where sorrow never seemed to end…