Reconciliation

I'm trying my best to explain to you the awful things I've been through, I'm being honest, I'm being true.

There really is nothing to gain for me to be reliving this pain.

It's difficult for me to comprehend, this vicious circle is there really no end?

I begin to dive in, my story I'm desperate for it to begin.

Constantly reliving, I try to forget, be more forgiving. I've learnt from the pain, I've stored the solutions they're deep in my brain, almost drove me insane. 

I know I am strong, it was almost the curtain call, but I didn't let me fall. I had to be strong, then you came along.  

My heart it fluttered and to myself I muttered "He couldbe the one" I thought I'd almost won. 
Then "bang" shots fired from my self sabotage gun. My story almost begun, we had so much fun. 
So much laughter, to myself  I'd hoped "happily ever after".
I messed up you see, and now all you feel is pain your questioning "do I want to see her again? " as I pushed you away from me.

Let it take its natural path I recall you'd say to me, why is this so difficult for me? 

I'll keep my distance as I feel your resistance, 
I don't blame you, you're hurting, I won't leave you I ain't into deserting. 

I'll try to show you in my own way, won't let my feelings get in the way.
It's about you, I know I've made you blue.
To you I'll stay true

Right now you don't believe me, but maybe you will when you see me.
My eyes they don't lie, there is no disguise.
You'll see the pain I hide again and again. 
Happy thoughts I'll regain in the hope I'll get to see you again
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