RED
I Did The Art Myself
Doe-eyed
She spies
Not wanting to find
Between the trees
Where monsters hide
Within the shadows
Which loom ahead
Her little heart
Beats full of dread
āKeep to the beaten pathā they said
She swears she hears a voice call
Ā āREDā
Treading softly
She picks up pace
That heart of hers begins to race
āMake haste
Make hasteā
Her thoughts beseech
Whilst through the trees
Howls creep to seek
Reach in her thoughts
To rattle her nerves
She knows the woods she walks are cursed
Her dainty hands clasp tight her hood
As fear seeps
Reaps
To infuse her blood
Shadows lean in
To touch her skin
A sense of something dark within
What little light
Begins to fade
Sheās certain now she canāt be saved
āBe brave
Be braveā
Her mind implores
But somethings crawling in her pores
Coarse
It tears at every limb
Shreds away each bit of skin
Her blue eyes glaze to blood red stains
Her bones twist
Inside
A rage
A need to feed
To bleed life force
The beast
Released
Inside her ROARS!
********
The morning dew
Taints crimson death
So many limbs splayed from the dead
A lonely girl found caped in red
A look of innocence on her head
Big doe-eyes look lost
In need
āCome take my handā
A wonderer pleads
Her dainty fingers grasp their palm
āI promise you wonāt come to harmā
He leads her back into the wood
Red feels her heart begin to THUD
The shadows crawl towards like spores
She hears a distant howling calls
Mauls at her skin
A new found kin
Red cannot fight the beast within
Heart pounds
Eyes glaze
As all light fades
Her blood ferments
A wilding rage
Fear pulps
Throat gulps
Red swiftly engulfed
Now whoās afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?
Gwens Grimm No1 "RED" May 2021
Ā
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Comments
Loving the art work Gwen and a terrific story...thoroughly enjoyed!! Xxx
Thanks so much š I needed a distraction xx
Are you recieving email Gwen...im not getting any comment emailsš£š£
Me neither I didnāt know if it was just me or another Cosmo error. Ā But Sunday was the last day I got any notifications š
Weāre studying this poem in my acting class in university! I adore it.
You are studying my poem?Ā
Beautiful artwork and what a write to highlight it ....very impressive :)Ā
Thanks so very much. I was attempting to escape my brain for a while. Glad you enjoyed and thanks for the pin too my friend š
This is well thought out a pleasure reading ......EXCELLENT
Many many thanks Lorris for the lovely feedback and pin :)Ā
Wow so talented my lovely creative lass abfab šā¤ļøš
Thanks lovely šš x
wow! double examples of wonderful art! ..................................................Jim
Awe thanks Jim :)Ā
Wow amazing art and poem Gwen! I'm assuming that you're published or at least getting published is your goal?
Truly excellent poetry. Your writing flows so well. Blown away!
Take careĀ - SydĀ
Thanks so much syd. I am neither any of those. I am just plodding on, getting a bit more confident to share my art work. Normally been just poems I share. But covid has me so bored am needing new adventures. So glad you liked it enough to think those things. One can dream eh ?Ā
Many thanks šĀ
Seriously Gwen, if I could draw and especially write like that then I would be looking to get published. It all depends upon the reasons why you write though I suppose. Not that I know anything about publishing by the way...I've submitted a few poems but never gotten anywhere.
Good luck to the futureĀ - Syd x
Wow thank you Syd for having such confidence in me. Something my late husband always told me he couldnāt teach me, I just have to take more risks. Thanks for the kind supportive words of encouragement š
To me this portrays the delicate nature of existence.
JP
John, as ever you donāt fail to route deeply within the written words. I do enjoy your thinking. Thank you ever so much for reading and also leaving your thoughts with my piece xĀ
STUNNING!!....Simply said!!.......the level of creative ingenuity required to be able to deliver something like this is "Off the charts!!".......your formatting, your succinctly delivered stanzas, your metaphors, your cleverly placed bread crumbs invoking "Little Red Riding Hood", your quality of word choices creating more than memorable imagery, and then top it all off with a picture that you drew yourself......defining for the reader the character's persona, which allows their minds eye to infuse/assign their own likes in sync......wow!....STUNNING!!....This may be the best poetic narrative I've ever read on this site!!.......When I wrote you that private message......I intuited this potential in you.....and I am overjoyed my friend......seriously happy for you......PINNED for perfection!!....wish I could offer up more STARS for you girlfriend ~ wish I could give you a hug right now!!!!......Wow!!......Lots of Love comin' your way G!!......Smiles......T xoĀ : )
Wowsers Tony, feedback couldnāt get any better than that! I have been taking my time to digest your truly awesome words of encouragement. You have been a tower of strength when it comes to my writing. I cannot express how grateful I am for all your belief in me. Please know I am beaming from ear to ear. Cosmo has been a wonderful inspirational
place for me. Full of incredible minds and creativity. Thank you for spurring me on to push myself with mine.Ā Ā I will forever feel indebted of your kindness and your wisdom. Love and giant squishy hugs, your friend Gwen x :)Ā
Wow, I don't even know what to say.Ā
To begin, the artwork is amazing! I love the detail put into the eyes.
Second off, this is very well written. I was able to actually imagine the events taking place, and it was quite terrifying but amusing at the same time. The description and imagery is top-notch. I also love the last line. It really wrapped the whole piece together. Nice job! xoxo
-mira
Wow Mira, THANK YOU for taking time to look at an older posted poem. One I worked hard at too. I am impressed at your perceptive nature regarding this piece. The last line was the first line I wrote. Everything hinged on it ending with that line. I envisioned it that way. You are the only person to pick up on that line. So feels right to share with you, the importance that line had for me. Am rambling now.
I should add, I am obsessed with drawing eyes. Always have been. In school my books all had eyes drawn on them :)Ā
I can tell Mira despite only being 14, youĀ are going to be a gem on Cosmo, I am certain of itĀ
ThankĀ you so much :)
Thank you so much! I really appreciate that, and I think you are an amazing poet!
I have a million things to catch up on Cosmos, but since you asked, I decided to put you and this poem at the top of my list! XD. And what can I say, but I`m so glad I did! What I`m impressed with the most is how simplistically you have been able to mix and blend the use of dialogue. By all the poets commenting on this work, I`m sure you know that this is no ordinary piece of work. This is something very very special. Some picks from me would definitely be the first 2 stanzas,
I did a bit of an analysis of the rhyme structure throughout your poem and it's absolutely fantastic! How you derive your rhymeĀ from the previous line. Also, love the style broken rhyme, and how you have explored it through the dialogue, this is only one example;
Beautiful and super fun to read. Coming back for a reread a tad later! Might Add some things to this comment later on! Hope you are well Gwen, such a fantastic poet you are
Hello my good friend :) I am so glad you read my RED. The inspiration to do a series of poems of which this is the first one, came from you my good friend. When I kept routing through your treasure trove of poems. I noticed you liked to do a series of poems. I was so inspired by this and was desperate to find something fresh to fixate and distract my grumpy mind on :) So unbeknown to yourself, with your help, I decided to start creating a series of Grimm poems. RED was the first one that popped into my head. I am so happy I can now share this with you my friend. And give you my thanks for the inspiration, that has helped me immensely of late to keep going :)Ā
I loved reading your feedback. You bring my mind to the awareness of the patterns of my writing. which is so very helpful.Ā I do not follow a structure when I write. I write and read out loud, then write some more and read out loud again. For me itās a bit like when you write a song. I am listening to the sounds each word makes against each other. Am I making sense ? :) I am searching for the rhythm as I write. So reading out loud constantly gives me that sensation and idea to the feel of the pieceĀ
You are always so attentive toward other peopleās work. The sign of the makings of a truly gifted writer. Never stop being yourself, because as much as you might not believe your doing much. YouāreĀ sending ripples into that vast ocean, which are reaching out and inspiring the many.Ā
Thank you Max for being you. For inspiring me to do a series of poems. For helping me create RED :)Ā Ā
Wot a bloomin epic depiction of an old classic noir and elsewise dark tale you tell here ma'am ..
Your amazing fairytalequeĀ variantĀ brilliantly mirrors an old classic whilst it also captures and holds a strong gothic flavour throughout ..
These words, indeed this whole poem will undoubtedly appeal to those of us who were once young enough to have had such tales read to us ... as well as those who presently still are ... Very muchly enjoyed by me ..
Neville :)
Neville!! Firstly I MUST apologies as I never knew this was here! And what a truly wonderful gift to find. A thousand thanks for reading RED. This was a big one for me to do. It is the first of a planned set I have. I love a dark fairytale, and have a string of them sat in my head. So finding your lovely feedback is such an encouragement. Thank you for taking the time to look back at my writing and for leaving always such thoughtful feedback. You are a wonderful contributer here on cosmo, for both your own poetry and your commentary. Thank you for always being so actively involvedĀ
Your happy friendĀ
Gwen š xĀ
You do already know why I'm so late in getting back to you .. don't yaĀ ................... and you are so much more than welcome, my happy Friend ...........Ā Now guess wot, I am happy tooĀ š x
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